After an afternoon spent in line waiting for a 3D printed emotional support Testudo, club running communications intern Andrew Cullen joined me for an hours worth of “studying” (Anime) in the School of Public Health.
Later joined by VP Lillian Hsu, I was commissioned to make a new blog post. Lillian told me to write up some more hot takes, but unfortunately I used them all up during my famed Strava series.
After continuous, hard, long, and deep thinking for all of 6 seconds, I decided to review some club running routes. Below is a review of the more popular routes that I have ran:
Hills for days: 5/10 while I do love this route, it fails what I call the “crossy road” test, in which I ask myself: “at any point in this run, did I run across a main road without the use of a crosswalk?”
Hills for Benno: 5000/10. Unlike it predecessor “hills for days”, Hills for Benno has 2 elements that make it far superior: 1. It passes the “crossy road” test 2. A lovely tour of Benno’s old house.
Chinese Lake Loop: 7/10. A route so easy to get lost on, that even it’s creator Brian Lau somehow manages to get lost. That being said, it is extremely fun and highly recommended if you’ve never done it before.
E-Fields: 0/10 more like L-fields.
Cherry Chill: -3/10 while I’ve ran this route many times, I am subject to getting lost without the help of google maps.
Lake Loop: 7 or 10/10. If you have had the chance to run lake loop with Timothy Chu, lake loop is amazing. However, yet again I get lost on this route without the help of google maps.
Neighbor Vinny’s: 10000/10. An absolute classic where you learn the heartwarming life story of former club treasurer Vinny Maltagliati.
North-Northwest: 4/10. This is an absolute banger of a route once you get to the actual northwest branch trail. However the long and treacherous 2 mile journey to get there is filled with far too many construction sites. With the added tradition of the “roller coaster” this route makes me want to cry.
Honorable Mention:
Pick-a-path: ???/10. Depends on the day, I’m trying to avoid being biased since the one time I did pick a path, I tripped on barbed wire, but I can imagine this being fun with the right group.
I am willing to defend all of my positions, and look forward to reviewing more routes in the future.
Sincerely,
Your new *position censored by President Sohan
Caleb, AKA C Holland
Cap says:
Hills for days: 10/10, the crossy road test has nothing on this majestic route
Hills for Benno: 5000/10, definitely also fails the crossy road test but i agree with the score
Chinese lake loop: -7/10, you seem to have dropped the negative sign
L-Fields: 0/10, what’s E-Fields?
Cherry Chill: 5/10, boring but solid, how do you get lost on a literal straight line
Lake Loop: 10/10, a true classic
Neighbor Vinny’s: N/A, haven’t tried it
North-Northwest: 4/10, agreed that it is heavenly but inaccessible
Pick-a-path: pick a score/10
pepsivstim says:
W
zach says:
That’s actually wild that you think blau created that route. Did he name it, yes (no one else would devise such a name). Is he an important part of the script, also yes. However, on the fateful day that this route was conceived the aforementioned disgraced webmaster decided to turn around while I prompted the group onwards through the woods. Please never attribute the controversial name to me, but when questioning why you have decided to embark on the journey as you lay on the ground victim to the expected value of one, thank your social chair Zach Kiedrowski.
Caleb Holland says:
I apologize. I promise to do more research in the future.
Sincerely,
Caleb
Lillian Hsu says:
An instant classic, did not disappoint.
pepsivstim says:
W Lake loop and H4D takes
– Tim