On Wednesday, May 10th, 2023, Club Running saw the return of the Ice Cream Trifecta Run. It is a challenge of speed, endurance, grit, strength, intellect, humor, dedication, wit, balance, agility, and most importantly, consumption. 

Beginning at SPH, competitors run to the Maryland Dairy at Stamp, then down to Cold Stone Creamery on South Campus, then up Route 1 to Rita’s, and then back to SPH for the finish. At each stop, competitors must purchase a small ice cream (custard at Rita’s) and consume it completely before leaving for the next stop.

The following recap is based on eyewitness recounts and some Strava posts. Please forward all corrections to my secretary Andrew Cullen and I might fix it (but probably not).

SPH to Maryland Dairy 

12 official competitors (and some other ice cream enthusiast spectators) toed the line at SPH. The lead pack booked it for Stamp by cutting through the Cambridge Community area and up to Stamp. Leading the pack to the Maryland Dairy were Eamon Plante, Jacob Bush, and Ian Siegler, and Andrew Cullen (for about 30 seconds). Onlookers looked on in horror as the line for the Maryland Dairy began to form to unprecedented lengths seen outside of Student tour groups.  

When I finally made it to Maryland Dairy, Jacob and Eamon were already inhaling their ice creams. I asked Jacob for a comment about how he felt at the current time and he replied, “feeling fire.” 

Despite not being in the front pack of the line, Zach shoveled that Terpresso down and was the first competitor to leave for Cold Stone. Jacob quickly finished his strawberry ice cream to lead the chase after Zach. Cap was the next competitor to leave Maryland Dairy, followed by Eamon, then Ian and Ben. 

Maryland Dairy to Cold Stone

Jacob led the chase pack after Zach en route to Cold Stone, followed by Cap, Eamon, Ian, and Ben. While Zach definitely ate faster, Jacob had the superior footspeed, passing him on the stretch across Mckeldin Mall to Cold Stone. 

 Zach however managed to outkick Jacob to Cold Stone and got served first. Cold Stone is infamous for being rather slow and today was no exception. This was a key moment that secured Zach’s position in first. He demolished his ice cream before Jacob’s order even finished ringing up and booked it up Route 1 to Rita’s. 

Cold Stone to Rita’s 

Zach was the first to arrive at Rita’s and ordered a custard swirl, which in retrospect he regrets and would have gone with just chocolate. Jacob arrived shortly after and had finished eating by the time Eamon, Ian, and Ben arrived. 

Ben was struggling with his Rita’s custard and ended up dry heaving for a bit which almost made Eamon throw up (he did not). Eamon left with a comfortable lead to finish 3rd overall. Ian demolished his Rita’s for an impressive 4th place. 

The next two finishers were Ben and Cap for 5th and 6th. Cap claimed that non-competitor Sam Fields cost him time at the Rita’s by ordering in front of him and thus slowing him down. Given the gap between him and Ben was less than 12 seconds, he was probably not wrong. 

Andrew “having fun with the sport” Cullen finished in 7th place about 10 minutes later, clearly having enjoyed the experience from start to finish. 

The Rita’s custard proved to be a killer for many competitors. The deceptively large “small” custard portion was demoralizing for many. Sohan struggled for a while with his custard, “Nate sucks. I regret ever meeting Nate.” Needless to say Sohan definitely took a while at the Rita’s stop. 

Dominick and Kalabe were trailing close behind Sohan and Andrew en route to Rita’s. Despite this gap, they managed to pass Sohan with their superior eating speed and ran to a sub 1 hour performance. Mason Scott also lapped Sohan at Rita’s for 10th place. 

After many minutes of struggling with his custard, Sohan made it to the finish, soon followed by Hadi. 

Post Race

Andrew and Hadi took the “actually enjoy the ice cream” philosophy and had a great time eating their different ice cream treats with good company. 

“I had Brenda’s Peanut Butter Frese at Maryland Dairy, Cotton candy with chocolate chips at Cold Stone, and chocolate custard at Rita’s,” said Andrew, “ Not a crazy time, but I enjoyed all of my ice cream and got to have a great time with some wonderful friends on the club.” 

“I had to uninjure myself for this race,” said Sohan. 

I asked Ben Johnson for any post race thoughts he had, “This was my first food run and it was a terrible experience. I have a lot of regrets but I’m still gonna do it next year.” 

Overall, no vomiting occurred during my spectating of this race, which I think is a win for all of the competitors. 

Official Results

1) Zach Kiedrowski – 29:33.7
2) Jacob Bush – 30:47.01
3) Eamon Plante – 37:41.47
4) Ian Siegler – 38:47.18
5) Benjamin Johnson – 41:00.88
6) Lucas “Cap” LaBuff – 41:12.57
7) Andrew Cullen – 52:19.28
8) Kalabe Arefeayne – 59:19.61
9) Dominick Cardone 59:19.90
10) Mason Scott – 1:00:54.28
11) Sohan Ganatra – 1:03:58.38
12) Hadi Alzayer – 1:07:32.76